tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5268431540807310082024-02-08T08:13:51.965-08:00To Whom?Just some thoughts I write down. Maybe you relate, or maybe just some criticism. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-8528540106687984982012-12-17T09:26:00.000-08:002012-12-17T09:26:00.981-08:00Self PortraitI'm pretty bad at being okay<br />
Okay with myself<br />
Who I am, and who I strive to be<br />
I have a hard time dealing with<br />
Who I was, or what I did<br />
Who I hurt, who I let down<br />
I am me<br />
Insecure<br />
Depressed<br />
Lonely<br />
Scared to hold people close<br />
I only let go, because no one gets me<br />
No one cares to stay<br />
In the end they are..<br />
They are happy I let go<br />
Happy that i dropped a lit match on our connection<br />
It was never really a connection to begin with<br />
It was me taking<br />
Them giving<br />
It was me being too much of a coward to give in<br />
To let them have me<br />
I'd rather not be okay than to be happy<br />
I could have been happy<br />
I could be happy<br />
But I let goAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-18092573750968125512012-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:002012-12-17T08:59:23.302-08:00MangosI speak, but it's all too late<br />
Too little, or too much<br />
You are vague, like overcast days<br />
Empty, or not enough<br />
I'm holding on as if it helps<br />
Your warmth, my touch<br />
My words are all I've got to myself<br />
You're fine, I'm drunk<br />
I'm sleepless, frustrated, and past exhaustion<br />
I'm an asshole, you're a lush<br />
I waited up for you to give in<br />
So in vain I freely spill my gutsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-90353565570216987002012-12-13T02:59:00.000-08:002012-12-13T03:09:16.251-08:00Sheets<br />
I taste your skin on my tongue<br />
My pulse echoing in my head<br />
Crazed<br />
Crazed by your touch<br />
If this is wrong<br />
Well at least it feels right<br />
If you hurt<br />
Well my temper got the best of me<br />
Over encumbered by the scent of sex<br />
Bite marks and arrogance<br />
Forgive me<br />
I know no cure for these urges<br />
Only this<br />
Only moments<br />
Moments of instinct, lust, and pride<br />
Moments of control<br />
Scenes of my body filling yours<br />
You bracing against the wall<br />
Our souls intertwined<br />
Do you remember this?<br />
When we were real<br />
Not these apparitions of our former selves<br />
Two kids needing someone<br />
Two kids embracing life's pain<br />
Two kids..<br />
Me<br />
You<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-12011209913314200342012-12-03T18:37:00.000-08:002012-12-03T20:28:41.397-08:00P.O.S.Red eyes and a need for sleep<br />
Did you forget what you said<br />
You'll never love anyone more<br />
The words that you dread<br />
A heart with a melancholy disposition<br />
You know it's true<br />
Look at me and you<br />
This is our love's composition<br />
Melodies play through my head<br />
You have nothing more to say<br />
So I write what I had left instead<br />
Look at where we stand now<br />
You still standing here with your arms out<br />
You built me up<br />
Just to spill my guts<br />
Like some child with soap in their mouth<br />
Red eyes and a need for sleep<br />
I know over time you move on<br />
How I wish it wasn't true<br />
Your memory is the one I rest upon<br />
Because I feel like no one if I don't have youAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-10431559493122738112012-12-02T03:28:00.001-08:002012-12-02T03:28:13.755-08:00Man's Best FriendYour companionship is missed<br />
The nights you helped me cope<br />
Scratched you when you itched<br />
Cringing when you licked my toes<br />
A good friend<br />
A best friend<br />
We part ways for better days<br />
I hope he gives you more time<br />
More love<br />
Than I ever could<br />
The nights you laid next to me<br />
Knowing better than I<br />
I was not alright<br />
Merely to help me sleep<br />
You miss her<br />
I know<br />
I could hear it on your voice<br />
The way you whined<br />
The way you growled<br />
The look in your eyes<br />
I loved y'all<br />
I let ya'll go<br />
I took the fall<br />
Left alone<br />
Good bye<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-52023112539617560542012-11-29T04:45:00.003-08:002012-11-29T04:54:25.091-08:00Wish I knew if you hear me :/I tried to write you something beautiful<br />
Something that I thought would last<br />
Instead I fed you lines of<br />
My depression<br />
My anxiety<br />
My selfishness<br />
All I ask for is one last listen<br />
What we had still sits with me<br />
Its something I'll never let go of<br />
I'll never forget<br />
For the past three years some how<br />
some how you've held on to my heart<br />
I wish I was lying<br />
You don't know how much I do<br />
You don't know how much I wish I was that asshole<br />
How much I wish I did not feel this<br />
How much I wish life was a fairy tale<br />
May be this is punishment<br />
May be this is karma<br />
That this turn where we say good bye<br />
I am alone<br />
I am in agony<br />
I yearn to feel loved<br />
Still sounding completely selfish<br />
Because right now no one else will do<br />
You're probably laughing, or crying<br />
Probably the latter<br />
I seem to do that to you<br />
Make you cry that is<br />
This time is probably good bye<br />
The last good bye<br />
I do not doubt that there is a possibility I'll never hear from you again<br />
I'll wonder what your thinking<br />
I'll wonder how you feel<br />
I'll hope you're happy<br />
I'll hold on to what you gave me<br />
And someday<br />
Someday I would like my heart back<br />
Until then I love youAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-41730066692278800012012-11-28T00:56:00.002-08:002012-11-28T00:56:21.011-08:00No Need to DreamChills on the surface of my back<div>
Sleepy, but not sleeping</div>
<div>
No desire to dream</div>
<div>
The night terrors that once haunted me</div>
<div>
Replaced</div>
<div>
Replaced by a single silent dark room</div>
<div>
Filled only by a chair and a body</div>
<div>
My sight starts off disoriented</div>
<div>
As it clears I see you </div>
<div>
Soon I am on my feet, but I can't move</div>
<div>
Frozen, or no...</div>
<div>
My legs are melting into the floor boards</div>
<div>
My chest is giving in, and I can hardly breath</div>
<div>
I watch hopelessly as you age</div>
<div>
The question is</div>
<div>
Was I watching you die?</div>
<div>
Or were you watching me?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-31491891200724892912012-11-27T11:20:00.000-08:002012-11-27T11:20:09.049-08:00Time LapseSeems like it was only minutes ago<div>
Minutes ago that I was a kid</div>
<div>
Anxiously waiting up for cartoons</div>
<div>
Sneaking candy before dinner</div>
<div>
Seconds from then I was in love</div>
<div>
Even sooner I was heartbroken </div>
<div>
I miss the cartoons, candy, and scraped knees</div>
<div>
Life was so naive, and held little responsibility</div>
<div>
Now nearing the end of my youth</div>
<div>
What do I have to show?</div>
<div>
Poorly written works</div>
<div>
A heavy heart</div>
<div>
Lack of accomplishment</div>
<div>
A drive for someone who barely knows I exist</div>
<div>
Well I have a life</div>
<div>
It may not have become all I wanted</div>
<div>
But</div>
<div>
But I am alive</div>
<div>
In respect of myself and those who care for me </div>
<div>
All I can do is proceed</div>
<div>
Proceed into the future with a positive outlook</div>
<div>
Proceed into the future with hope</div>
<div>
Hope that I make something of this existence</div>
<div>
This life</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-89489083551835423922012-11-27T02:09:00.000-08:002012-11-27T02:09:37.487-08:00Irrelevance Forgotten<div>
Forgotten are the moments we shared</div>
<div>
Lost in time</div>
<div>
No one to appreciate them</div>
<div>
No one to care</div>
<div>
Irrelevant in the ever growing futures we lead</div>
<div>
Separate futures</div>
<div>
Separate lives</div>
<div>
They sit heavy on the mind</div>
<div>
As does the liquor on my liver</div>
<div>
Tortured not as an artist</div>
<div>
Merely as a romantic</div>
<div>
Looking to moving pictures for satisfaction</div>
<div>
You</div>
<div>
Yourself</div>
<div>
See me as you want</div>
<div>
Not as the person I was</div>
<div>
The person hiding</div>
<div>
Hiding from you and the twisted demands that love pulled me to</div>
<div>
Concerned</div>
<div>
Concerned with which face you wanted to view</div>
<div>
So concerned I would go to great lengths to hide my own</div>
<div>
Hide it deep with in my mind</div>
<div>
Pulling me further from you</div>
<div>
I've come to the realization</div>
<div>
The realization you never wanted me close</div>
<div>
If you did </div>
<div>
You would have allowed me to love you</div>
<div>
You always knew you would leave </div>
<div>
In one sense or another</div>
<div>
You always knew you would leave</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-7868717295617698542012-11-26T17:18:00.001-08:002012-11-26T17:18:17.004-08:00Sour Patch KidsWould you love me<br />
If you knew we'd grow old<br />
And that I would die young<br />
Would you love me<br />
If I obsessed over candy<br />
And thought you were enough<br />
Would you sustain me<br />
If my body was weak<br />
And I need your air to use my lungs<br />
Would you sustain me<br />
If I loved you<br />
And no one elseAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-81810161401777917792012-11-26T06:04:00.002-08:002012-11-29T15:48:56.940-08:00Meh.My eyes lead you across the room<br />
<div>
Heavy breaths</div>
<div>
Labored</div>
<div>
Your mouth lined with poison</div>
<div>
I breathe you in</div>
<div>
I let you out</div>
<div>
I still feel your tongue</div>
<div>
Finding its way around the inside of my gums</div>
<div>
My legs lose composure</div>
<div>
I find it hard to stand, and within seconds</div>
<div>
I am awake</div>
<div>
Longing to sleep</div>
<div>
Waiting to dream</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-12393161784446471332012-11-26T01:22:00.002-08:002012-11-26T01:22:38.058-08:00SatchelA place<br />
A place we keep things<br />
Things to be hidden<br />
Things yet to be seen<br />
Secrets<br />
Feelings<br />
Keepsakes<br />
Memories?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-60527787398005889232012-11-26T01:20:00.001-08:002012-11-26T01:26:38.862-08:00RoutinesRoutines pathing the future<br />
Routines filled with hours<br />
Routines keeps my mouth sutured<br />
Routines my soul is devouredAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-30480242161205636842012-11-26T01:19:00.000-08:002012-11-26T01:19:00.765-08:00YouYour lips quivered<br />
Your eyes locked to mine<br />
These were the first days<br />
Days before the worst days<br />
I yearn for their return<br />
That in the midst of lonely painful nights<br />
Nights of scorn<br />
Nights of panic<br />
Nights of chaos <br />
That I'd return to the sweet boy with short hair and no shirt<br />
Endlessly fumbling on a set of fake drums<br />
That your aroma and prescence would stop my heart <br />
Only to kill me in that moment<br />
That one honest moment<br />
But realistically <br />
I am here<br />
Yearning<br />
Yearning for the impossible <br />
YouAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-91471694499541531352012-11-26T00:51:00.000-08:002012-11-26T00:51:03.214-08:00A CompassI'm a kid with a compass<br />
A kid looking for his way home<br />
For me<br />
You were the needle that gravitated me south<br />
Gravitated me from who I was<br />
Simply<br />
Simply because I love<br />
I love the Northern Star<br />
The further you pulled me<br />
The less I lived<br />
The more I simply just existed<br />
Hollow<br />
Hollowed out like a host by a parasite<br />
As the sky gets dimmer<br />
I know I am dead, or soon for it <br />
As sky shows no light these days<br />
No star<br />
No life<br />
No sight<br />
Simply existence <br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-64960438751727717092012-11-26T00:35:00.001-08:002012-11-26T00:37:34.165-08:00A PotraitA face<br />
Your face<br />
The one you gave me<br />
Along with the blood that runs deep<br />
Deep <br />
Deep enough to haunt me daily<br />
It sickens me that I have these ties<br />
These ties to you<br />
To your family<br />
Stuck<br />
Stuck in the very stitches of my existence<br />
Left with your face<br />
Like some fucked up joke<br />
You laugh<br />
They laugh<br />
Like some mob mocking my roots<br />
I can't help the trees that bore me<br />
Only how far I fall from said treeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-526843154080731008.post-39826246921422198632012-11-26T00:19:00.001-08:002012-11-26T00:19:51.059-08:003:07 AmThoughts<br />
Thoughts of words written not spoken<br />
Characters to display feelings and concerns<br />
Eyes following lines<br />
Lines of blood cells from the chambers of your heart<br />
Places you keep hidden<br />
A sickness with a fever<br />
With every line it fuels the fire<br />
I can smell it in my veins<br />
Pumping <br />
Spreading<br />
Until I'm dry at the mouth and ready to give in<br />
But it breaks<br />
I sweat<br />
I vomit<br />
I relieve myself of the pressure resting in my gut<br />
Thoughts are thoughts, but these feelings never let upAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16027378163638460393noreply@blogger.com0